December 6, 2011
Ask Me Anything
choices, decisions, heart, Life, love, love languages, marriage, thoughts, understanding, Wisdom
A great question. I have done several posts about what True Love is and love languages are something I have not hit on yet, so this is a great time to talk about it.
What is a love language? Dr. Gary Chapman explains it in his book “The 5 Love Languages” as a way that people understand and receive love from others. Basically, when someone does something for us in our love language, we feel loved by that person. The five areas are as follows: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. We all understand and “speak” one or more of these languages and when we don’t feel loved in our relationships (assuming that the other person really does love us) it’s because the other person isn’t speaking the same love language as us. For all of us, one or two of these things are very dominant in our character and our internal makeup, but when the other person doesn’t understand that part of us, it’s difficult for them to know what we need in order to feel the love that they might be attempting to show to us. Here’s the kicker, by nature, we speak the same language we are expecting to receive. If the woman in a marriage feels loved when she is touched (hugs, holding hands, cuddling, ect.), but the man tries to show how much he loves her by buying gifts for her and doesn’t spend much time physically touching her, she will not feel that she means as much as he probably tells her that he does. They are speaking two different love languages.
My love language is composed of Receiving Gifts and Acts of Service. I feel most loved when I’m bought gifts (they don’t have to be expensive by any means, lol) and when someone goes out of their way to help me, especially when I don’t have to ask for it. Sara’s love languages are Quality Time and Physical Touch. Notice that we don’t speak the same languages. I have no problem with physically touching her, but it’s not in the forefront of my mind, because it’s not one of my love languages. On the flip side, Sara doesn’t go out of her way to help me as much as I need her to in order to feel loved, because it’s not one of her love languages.
Love languages are a big thing to each of us whether we understand them or not. We all operate out of them without realizing it and wonder why sometimes it feels like the other person doesn’t love us like they used to. This is something I need to keep in front of me more often and it will help a lot more in my marriage and other relationships/friendships.
November 21, 2011
Ask Me Anything
chances, choices, decisions, heart, Life, mistake, Story, thoughts, understanding, Wisdom
“To seek the grail!” That was the first answer that came to my mind when I read this question, but after thinking about it, I’m not sure that it’s not actually a fairly accurate representation of what I’m after in life. Let’s start with a thought.
What is the holy grail? Most people would automatically refer back to Monte Python’s humorous story line following King Arthur and his knights through their quest to find the holy grail of Jesus. Everyone is seeking something in their lives as diligently as the many people who over the course of history have sought the holy grail; various knights, King Arthur, even Hitler! The wanted to find it for themselves because it was valuable to them. My quest is to search for what’s valuable to me, but also to learn to be content with what I have once I’ve found it.
Life is interesting. Whoever says differently is selling something. And in this bit called life, we all are looking for the things that make us happy. For me, it’s to learn from my mistakes (even if complete change is not always made after each mistake, but rather even if at least something can be taken out of them, then it wasn’t a complete waste of time and energy), to better myself by learning from other’s mistakes, to make people laugh and smile, and to show what it really means to be a friend. Although I know I’ve been lacking in the last one as of late, there is a season for everything and right now the season of life I’m currently in requires a lot more time, energy, and focus directed towards myself that would normally be directed towards others. I know that over an information age where text is the most common way to communicate it can make me seem like a snob or as someone who doesn’t really care as much as I say that I do, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. I’m the same person I say that I am, I’m just on a sabbatical.
My quest is to better myself and those around me. I want to learn as much as I can about this thing called life and impact those around me. I want as many people around me to walk away from me positively different because they met me.
July 19, 2011
Ask Me Anything
Answers, Ask Me Anything, Life, Questions, thoughts, understanding
I blog because it’s the best outlet I have to really get things out in the open without fear of judgement. As you read through my blog I’ve had a lot going and this is a safe place for me to let it all out and really try to sort it out. I’ve got 2 people in real life that I can tell almost anything to. So this is soapbox, my venting space if you will.
You might notice that sometimes, especially in my poetry, that I might take things to an extreme. That’s part of who I am. I will do that from time to time, not necessarily because I actually feel that way, but it sometimes helps me see what the extreme is and helps me understand it before I get there, if I do.
I’m a partial-verbal processor. I think about a lot, but I get to the point where I need to talk things out, and on and on and on….. Blogging (this is the first time I’ve ever blogged!) is my way to verbalize things and help me see what’s really going through my head.
Last but not least, I blog to tell my story. Maybe there are others out there with a story identical, or at least with similarities and it helps us all feel like we really aren’t alone. Also, if my story can help someone see where my path has taken me, maybe they will learn from me and adjust their decisions accordingly.
Thanks for the question!
July 17, 2011
Ask Me Anything
Answers, heart, Life, Questions, thoughts, understanding
Thank you to everyone who has liked, commented, or subscribed to my blog! I’m fairly well floored by the turnout I’ve received, probably because I have never really seen myself as someone who has anything to say that people actually want to pay attention to. Friends are different, but a site like this, where no one knows me, is very different. So having said that, I’ve decided to open myself up to all of you. Check out the new page Ask Me Anything! If a question is something I’m not quite ready to answer, I’ll at least post that and tell you why instead of just ignoring it.
Again, thanks for all of your support. It really does mean a lot to me.