I left my parent’s house for good! Not only did I not want to go back, but it was now legally impossible. I was 18, my sister was 17, and my little brother was 9. I was not allowed to be within 500 feet of either one of them as they were minors and I was an adult until a formal investigation was performed. That also meant that I couldn’t talk to most of my friends as they were a year younger than me and I couldn’t tell them why. My understanding is that I had to be reported and during the course of that investigation, my father would be discovered and another investigation would be launched his direction. I guess my dad stayed at home that night and left the next day to make everything look better for him through the impending events.
One detail that I forgot to mention was that my brother was at camp at the time. He was only going to be gone for a week, but when he got home, he discovered that both my father and myself were no longer living there and that he couldn’t have any contact with either one of us. He also wasn’t told why, but just that he could see or talk to us. What a surprise for a 9-year-old. Leave and everything’s alright. Come back and everything’s completely fallen apart.
Anyway, I left the house and had no permanent place of residence for about 4 months or better. I was made homeless by the state. I didn’t have enough money to get my own place so I found myself bouncing around a lot. A few nights here, a week here, nothing was stable anymore. I lived out of my car. I had no other option. When I got somewhere I had no clue how long I could stay there so I never unloaded any more than necessary. There were several places that I was able to stop for what I thought was the night, only to find out after I settled in as much as possible, that there was going to be a minor under the same roof and I had to leave. I can’t tell you how many times I found myself driving around at 12 am looking for a place to sleep. I was always running and could do nothing about it.
I went through numerous interviews with DCFS regarding what had happened and they all were sceptical about my side of the story. I was ordered to attend counseling by their counselors in order to “get better”. I did it and found that I hated it. They never listened to me and as I provided what each person was looking for I was passed onto another one for some purpose or another. I got so sick of repeating myself over and over again only to have no one actually want to help me. They were out to gather information and put a case together. It looked like for a while there that I was going to be taking a polygraph test. Thank God that never actually happened.
A couple of months after DCFS was notified so were the police. I was nearly arrested, but thanks to my lawyer, I had to option to turn myself in instead. The police were convinced I was a flight risk as I worked out-of-state. They wanted to pick me up at the border as I was on my way to work the day before I was informed that they even knew anything about me. I turned myself in and my mom bailed me out for $2,000. Then my court case started. It drug out for 10 months and they were trying to pin me with Criminal Sexual Assault. That’s a felony, punishable by 4 to 15 years in the state pen and having to register as a sex offender for 20 years.
During my case, my lawyer himself was arrested for tax evasion and I was presented with a new lawyer, to whom I had to share everything yet again. He believed me! I was shocked! He read the interviews with my sister and father and he believed me! Just that thought alone was amazing! He was the only one besides Sara who did. When he presented my case before the judge, the judge believed me too! But the state’s attorney was up for re-election and didn’t want to be seen as easy on crime so he couldn’t let the case drop. The judge pushed for it for months, but it was not to be dropped. See, the county that I lived in is full of small towns and it was the biggest story around! Too many eyes were on him to just let it go. His career could have ended pretty quickly if he had done so. Long story short (believe it or not I have shortened it a lot), I was convicted of a misdemeanor battery charge to keep me from needing to register, but still requiring me to serve 2 years probation. I remember at my sentencing, the judge looked at me and said, “This is a tragic story of how a single parent can affect the lives of both of his children while only abusing one of them.” That was the end of the court case and a month later, Sara and I got married.
Our wedding was small as most of my friends didn’t understand why I had to cut them from my life for the time. What was supposed to be temporary turned permanent. I had almost no one but Sara left. Nearly everyone abandoned me during everything and several did their best to turn everyone else against me too. With that much hurt and that many fresh wounds, it probably was not the best time to begin a marriage.
I’m sorry that this turned into to very long blogs, but I had to get some of this out there. I will be referencing some of this in future posts when explaining myself and my current state of mind and pain. The background story is still effecting me today and influences my current situation. There were a lot of things that led up to my marriage going the way it has that needed to be shared.